The wife and I recently went on a trip out of town. As I packed, I realized it was the first time I did not pack the Hitachi Magic Wand in years. As I have outlined here before, for many years it was the only way my wife could achieve orgasm. As of the past couple years or more we have only used it a handful of times. The truth is, we have reached the point we no longer need it.
For some of you, your wife’s orgasm may have “come” easily. Not so for us. I have discussed before how the road to reliable orgasms was a long one. At one time, I had accepted the wand would forever a part of our lives, and I was okay with that. We would use oral and hand play as foreplay leading up to the grand finale that always required mechanical assistance. “Let the tool do the work” as my dad used to say (not in this context obviously).
Then, one fine day, she came from oral. Out of the blue and unexpectedly. Nothing was done differently, I believe she just finally relaxed and learned to enjoy it. From there our repertoire grew quickly to where we are today with her able to come in the “CAT” position. She still cannot come from penetration alone and needs clitoral stimulation, but who knows? I never thought we’d be where we are today.
Now that’s just cruel…
It was a good feeling packing and deciding the wand would not be needed. However, I thought of the many comments and views I’d read over the years by men who did not allow toys in the bedroom. Some of the reasons cited were jealousy of the toy (really???), feeling not coming from intercourse alone was an immature orgasm (easy to say when you come from just about any stimulation), a fear of developing a dependence on a toy to orgasm. The last one I can see, but in our case it definitely was not a problem. In fact, I believe it taught her how to orgasm. My wife is not one who masturbates. She hates it. She will do it for me to watch when I tell her to, but I have go all Dom on her for her to comply (she does love it when I order her around in the bedroom). She has never orgasmed from it, but oddly, I can use my hand to bring her to orgasm. The closest she has come is using the wand during intercourse, she has come that way. She says masturbating feels weird and awkward and she’d rather have me do it for her… I can fully understand that… I too can do it myself, but I prefer to have someone o it for me. I’m lazy like that.
Guys, if your wife needs a little help getting over the hump, let her have it. Do not be jealous of a rubber dick, that’s just stupid. Do not feel using a toy is cheating. The truth is most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, but the mechanics of intercourse for most couples does not allow that. Telling her there is something wrong with her for not being able to come from intercourse alone is like her telling you that you should be able to come from her simply rubbing your balls. Maybe you can, but that wouldn’t work for me no matter how long you rubbed. It feels good, but alone it won’t get me there (although she did get me there once using her tongue on them, but that’s a story for another day…)
As for developing a dependence on toys, I’m not a doctor. I can tell you it was not the case with us. In fact, it was the exact opposite and ultimately led to packing for a trip last week and leaving “old reliable” at home. Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with using old reliable if you need him.
Look, I know for most men having a woman orgasm while riding your cock is the ultimate goal. When my wife first came on mine using the CAT position I felt like King Kong. I will never forget the first time that happened….
Where was I?
I’d be lying if I said otherwise. However, if it never happened and my wife could only come with the magic wand… so be it. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, encourage her through leadership to push her boundaries, but accepting her limitations is part of marriage.
Her orgasm is her responsibility. I am a firm believer in that. Your responsibility is to provide her with all the tools necessary to get there. You know, the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water…”. Once she’s at the watering hole it’s up to her to ensure she gets what she needs.
Honey Boo Boo…