Today is a day that many of us will spend with extended family. For some that is a good thing, but for many, the thought evokes feelings of dread. You may find yourself searching for excuses you can use to not to attend the yearly torture session. There are several ways to handle this situation.
When your feminist sister in law berates your wife because she brought you a beer, you can tell her to go fuck herself. You can remind her it’s that attitude which keeps her home alone with her cats on Saturday nights. Ensuring a river of tears and gnashing of teeth, followed by shrill screams of how you are a misogynist pig. You can tell your beta nephew he is a giant vagina for allowing his wife to henpeck him into voting for Hillary, and allowing her to post a picture of him wearing a Hillary t-shirt on Facebook for the world to see… He will protest in white knight fashion, citing the fictitious gender wage gap and rape culture, but deep down he knows you speak the truth, as do all the men in attendance of the feast. Unfortunately, few will have the intestinal fortitude to publicly agree with you, further adding to your disdain for your family. These men will stuff another piece of pie in their mouths, hoping their wives don’t ask them to take sides.
I do not recommend this route…
Instead, ignore their foolishness and enjoy the day as best you can. Go out and organize a game with the kids, drag some of the teens away from their cellphones and throw a ball around. Anything to keep you out of the craziness that is your liberal in laws. Your wife will appreciate it and the other women (and men) will see how a well adjusted, confident male handles an uncomfortable situation. If you are challenged by your nutty, spinster sister in law, hold your frame and don’t let her get under your skin. That will drive most of those types insane. Winning the game of he who cares the least wins is very satisfying.
Of course, if you have balls big enough, you can always proclaim the day to be a time to spend with family and tell everyone you will be spending it at home with your immediate family. I have done this in the past and it is truly a good feeling. However, you must have the support and respect of your wife to pull this off. If you try this, but lack the ability to convince your wife, you will look like a fool. Let’s be honest, when someone at the family get together complains about your “selfish decision”, at least three quarters of the men there will be thinking to themselves “Lucky bastard…” as they drown their misery in another beer. The other one quarter will continue to lie to themselves.
No matter what you end up doing, make today a great day. Look around and see all the blessings you have. If you are reading this, you have something to be thankful for, not because of my words, but because of the sight you have to read it, the means you have to access the internet, the freedom you have to hit the X at top right because you think I’m an asshole. These are simple, but we all are swimming in things to be thankful for if we take an honest look.
Whatever your plans, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving today and hope you enjoy your family… your entire family… Yes, even that side of the family…