Where Are All The Good Married Sex Blogs?

I will preface this post with I am a Christian and do go to church.  However, I would say I align my politics in line with Libertarian leaning.  I believe we should have much less government and much more freedom to choose.  I understand this may also mean people choose what I don’t like or think is wrong, but I’m okay with that as long as it doesn’t harm another person.  I do not believe it is my job to judge, that will come later by someone better suited to do so.

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That being said, here is the problem I want to discuss.  If you are a straight, monogamous couple, and want to find someone who blogs about sex, it appears your choices are limited… Unless I just haven’t found them yet.  Even if you google “married sex blog” you seem to find many blogs about swingers or people into a cuckolding lifestyle, femdom, and domestic discipline.  Some are promoting “Sex Workers Rights.”  I don’t care if people are into those things.  We like what we like, but I don’t want to read about it.  So I don’t…  I do not judge those folks, that’s what they like and good for them for having the balls to pursue it.  So many people lead lives of “Quiet Desperation.”  They hide their kinks and desires out of fear of ridicule, judgement, or embarrassment.  Often by their spouses…which is sad…

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On the other end of the spectrum, you have many religious based sex bloggers, and one pretty good religious sex forum.  There have been some in that genre of religious sex blogs who were very good, but for some reason they never lasted long.  Others, seem to be excessively judgmental towards specific likes and preferences in the bedroom.

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On the forum, while I haven’t been there lately, they can get very territorial if you don’t have a “high post count”, and do not make an observation contrary to one of the self appointed forum leaders.  You will be severely chastised and possibly banned for being an instigator.  Also, if they find out you are Catholic, you will really see the fangs come out.  Blaming the religion for everyone’s sexual problems, even those with problems who were never Catholic.  Not very Christian like in my opinion.  I have only lurked there, so this isn’t sour grapes, just my observations after several years of reading through posts.  Again, some good advice, but you have to take the good with the bad…

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So what does the married couple interested in improving their sex life, or in some cases learning about it, do?  I really don’t know.  I try to post what works for us, but I wouldn’t call this a sex blog.  There is some sex, but not enough to classify it as such.  Yes, you can read books on the subject, but I like to hear the experiences, struggles and solutions of every day people.  I think you get more out if it than reading a book.

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I don’t like sharing as much as I do about my wife and I, specifically our sex life.  However, I think back to when I was literally hanging on by a thread.  I hope that something I share, which has worked at least once (for us), helps someone else.  I believe that’s what we are put here to do, help our fellow man improve themselves and make their lives better in some way.  If you read studies on overall happiness, it is those who serve others, whether as a paid profession or as a volunteer, who are consistently the happiest.  I have done both, and I can tell you first hand it is true.

So, if I get a little graphic sometimes, which I try not to do (here anyway…), I am simply trying to convey something I believe may be helpful to someone.  I am not bragging or trying to feed someone’s prurient interest.  If it doesn’t appeal to you, that’s okay.  To each their own and come back tomorrow, I’m likely going to be on to a new topic…

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12 thoughts on “Where Are All The Good Married Sex Blogs?

    • Thank you for the recommendation, Ame. I am trying to get back into writing again, It’s been a difficult year in many ways for me. I have posts started that I have not finished and am getting close on one of them about NST. I have been doing a lot of reading and studying that is informing my writing and I have been having a time trying to sort things out. The more I study, the more I see how complex our sexuality is, but I also see that we do not have to feel overwhelmed by that complexity. We don’t have to understand all of it, only the parts that have bearing in our individual lives and relationships.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I will be posting more, Ame. Promise. 🙂 I hit the ground running the first year and then life happened. I’m well and my family is fine. No worry there. Life has simply slowed me down some.Thank you for still thinking of me.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. “Also, if they find out you are Catholic, you will really see the fangs come out. Blaming the religion for everyone’s sexual problems, even those with problems who were never Catholic.”

    I used to be very upset at the Catholic church’s influence on sex in marriage… to me it did (mostly in the past) contribute to a lot of problems. I used to feel “so righteous” in having those arguments until God convicted me that I was harming other believer’s faith and conscienes’ who were faithful to the Catholic church. I didn’t want to harm their faith or make them stumble, so I let them have their own convictions.

    Now I know from receiving emails and such, that there are A LOT of Protestants with sex issues and sex problems in their marriages… it’s not solely the Catholic church’s fault at all in many cases.

    So the people acting that way just are blinded to what they don’t want to see I guess. And they aren’t allowing God to convict them that attacking Catholics is wrong… or they don’t care and they do it anyway. You’re right though, it’s not very Christian in behavior.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Also, there aren’t many good conservative/Christian sex blogs possibly because Christians are SO judgmental toward each other – and especially over issues of sex or being sexy.

    I got the worst attention from Christian women of all things, for writing ONE post on wives seducing their husbands a few years ago. I mean I had 7 different Christian women blogs talking and linking to it all at the same time, to tear it apart aggressively and passive aggressively… some tried to call me a whore, I was accused of only writing it to try to seduce other women’s husbands and such. It was clear it was written to women and specifically wives, but that’s a big “no-no” for Christian women. Just tons and tons of judgment. And that was just over one post lol!

    So I’ve never had the motivation to write more on it – it’s too much harsh judgment… and I hold back A LOT of the details of my own married life because I want to get along with them and not set them off if at all possible. But even that one Halloween costume post I did received some passive-aggressive gossip backlash from that particular crowd. Somehow being a woman and writing to encourage wives to fulfill their husbands sexually, gets you harshly condemned.

    So if you write even a little on sex, you get punished big-time for it if you’re Christian. So that may be a reason in why there aren’t more people willing to do it. It gets you a bit of traffic, but the judgment and condemnation makes it almost unbearable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do get that. You are right, they do like to pile on for some reason. I’m not sure why it is so taboo for some to talk about improving sex between two married people? I cannot see what is wrong with that. I suppose they expect everyone to either not have sex, or only under conditions “approved” by them.

      As I said, don’t agree with all the things people post with the different lifestyles they lead, but it’s not up to me to judge them. If it’s between consenting adults, and not harming anyone else, I don’t see why people get so worked up about what their neighbor does behind closed doors. If you don’t want to read about it, hit the little X at the top and close the page. Move on. Life is too short to try to control what other people do in their bedrooms.

      I suppose it could be jealousy, or fear that the little world they have built, and have total control over, could be upset if their spouses find out there is more to sex than a drip feed of just enough to keep them around, only in the dark, on a schedule they control.

      Whatever it is, think about the sad life led by someone threatened by a post about improving marital sex…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve thought about this. I do believe there is a difference in how the topic is accepted. However, this attitude is detrimental to the desired outcome. With men, we are often eager to learn. Sometimes, they don’t like what they have to change about their behavior to attain the desired result, but for the most part you are “preaching to the choir” so to speak.

        Many women enjoy the power they hold over their husbands by being the gate keepers of sex. At the same time, they resent their husbands for being so weak by letting sex force such an abdication of leadership. It’s a strange dynamic… And one many women don’t want to face with an “unruly” husband, who all of a sudden is trying to improve himself. They would prefer the status quo.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Been there. Got the hat and T-shirt. You go, girl!. Don ‘t let them limit your ministry and steal your joy. You author an excellent blog with a lot of variety in your posts.Those who oppress you are likely those who need your message the most.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ve thought about this. I do believe there is a difference in how the topic is accepted. However, this attitude is detrimental to the desired outcome.

    i am comfortable writing generally about sex but not specifically/details. i would definitely need to run every word by my husband first, but even if he approved i would probably still not write about it, at least not publicly.

    another blog you might want to check out is: https://artisanaltoadshall.wordpress.com/.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I write (mostly) about sex for Christian men on my blog. Though “getting your balls back” is a major theme as that is prerequisite.

    savingeve.net

    Like

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