You Must Endure The Pain To Enjoy The Pleasure

Having your eyes opened to the Red Pill can be painful for some.  Especially those invested in Blue Pill ideologies.  However, it is the single most important thing that can happen for man in relation to his happiness in life.  After the initial anger over being lied to your whole life, and the realization that you bought the lies…  What comes next for a recently awakened man is different depending on his circumstances.

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For the single man, or the man in a “committed relationship”, even the recently married, say less than four or five years with no kids, the answer is much easier.  Accepting the Red Pill and changing your life can be accomplished with less risk.  Men in these situations have much less to lose if the relationship blows up because of your awakening and changes.

For the married man in a long term marriage, especially if kids are involved, the situation is much more complicated, but the issue is the same.  Just the outcome has the potential to be much more painful to everyone involved.  A long term marriage built on a man’s Blue Pill behavior and beta principles will be difficult to change, but it can be done.  It just has to be done slowly, like a large ship, slow and steady until you are on the course you were meant to be.

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I know because I did this myself.  I was able to make the change in my marriage.  For this to work, you must decide and accept that you are willing to walk away if she refuses to follow your new course.  One thing that makes this decision a little easier is taking an objective look at your wife and asking yourself, knowing what you now know about her would you pursue her if you were a single man?  I know, that answer may sting a little for some, but if you think about it, isn’t that the key question in all of this?

I began changing my life and marriage long before I knew what “Red Pill, Blue Pill” or had even heard of the Manosphere.  I simply began acting on what came naturally instead of what I was fed through the media, romantic comedies, and what women said they wanted in a man.  When I came to the painful realization that my answer was no, I would not do this a second time with her, changing became easier.

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This decision did not come without inner conflict.  We had been together since we were fifteen years old.  She is very attractive, a good mother to my kids, works hard, keeps the house, all the things you want in a wife, except the passion and sex a man is looking for.  There was a trickle of duty sex, that when finished, I actually felt guilty for “putting her through that.”  Looking back, I analyze my behavior and realize she was desperate for me to take charge of our marriage.  At the time, I thought her lack of passion and disdain for sex was because just her way of controlling me.  Giving me just enough (once a week, but no variety) to keep me around.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I looked at where we were and decided I could no longer live like that.  We were about ten years married and three kids in at that time.  Now, at twenty-four years in, our marriage looks much different.

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My wife went from someone who had a great disdain for sex, and had told me so back then, to one who now initiates sex about 30% of the time.  It was not easy, when I made the decision to change my life I pictured life without a woman I had been with since I was fifteen.  However, the pain and rejection I felt over her lack of passion and sexual interest told me she wasn’t into me.  I didn’t know why at the time, I just began my journey.

After about a year and a half, and significant success, I decided to search the internet for more advice and direction.  That’s when I found the Red pill / Blue Pill theories.  As I read, I saw myself in the before and after modes of these two states.  Armed with the knowledge I gained, I was able to hone in on where I needed to be and how to get there.  More importantly, I learned the “whys” behind the behaviors of women… and men…

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All of this helped me get where I am today.  However, without making the decision to walk away if it didn’t work out, none of this would have happened.  I needed to take a honest look at my wife and ask that difficult question, would I do this again.  At that time the answer was no.  Today I have to say that answer has changed to a firm yes.

Just like most things in life, you must endure a little pain to enjoy the pleasure.

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