Foreplay is a word thrown about frequently. Most of us know what is means in theory, but to many, what it is and how to use it is a mystery. When we are young men, we don’t fully understand the concept and why it is necessary. However, as we get older it’s utility becomes much more clear.
Even if all is in working order, with frequent and familiar (married) sex, arousal can be a challenge at times. As of today, (knock on wood…) I have never experienced an inability to perform. At times, after drinking a bit too much, I have difficulty finishing. This is rare and thankfully I have dialed in when to say when.
With age, I believe as men we remain interested in sex. However, having sex with the same woman, year after year, in the same three or four positions (hopefully for you) can make arousal a little challenging at times.
Welcome to the world of women and their responsive desire… although we experience it a little differently. For many women, sex isn’t on their radar all the time like it is for men. Often, we need to stoke their fire a bit to get things going, but if you are in a good place relationship wise it doesn’t take much.
If you are finding it difficult to get things going, figure out what it is that lights your fire and do that. For me, when I find I need a jump start, I simply lie back and let her work her magic. I spent my entire sexual life with my wife, always being the dominant and leading. Always rock hard. She has always simply laid back and enjoyed whatever I placed on the menu for the day. It is nice to let someone else do some lifting once in awhile. When I lie on my back, she knows exactly what to do and takes over for a bit. It is usually only a few moments before she has worked her magic.
Other times, I will take a more dominant role, flip her into whatever position I want, restrain her, light spanking, lightly grab her neck (she likes that) and that will get me going. It just depends on what kind of mood I’m in at the time.
For each man, his favorite flavor will be different. The point is as you get older, and the novelty wears off, don’t let that scare you or make you think you need a newer, younger play toy. Often, this is time to explore deeper into your sexual relationship for what is hidden, what you both have been afraid of admitting you want, what it is you are both afraid of saying out loud for fear of being judged.
Sex with a long term partner doesn’t haven’t to be boring. It certainly can be if you let it, but sex is work and keeping it interesting is work. I have to admit, reading the manosphere about the sexual exploits of the single men can seem exciting, but damn it sounds like a lot of hard work for the limited pay off and hit and miss success.
If you choose well when marrying, and do your part to keep her interested and engaged, you will have a woman who sees herself as your play toy and will do just about anything to please you. This is work also, but to me the payoff is much better.
I hope you haven’t…
Guaranteed sex four to five times a week, some good, some off the chart, (sex is like pizza, even bad sex is pretty damn good) sounds good to me. Simply walk over to her as she sits on the couch, lift her chin to you, and say, “Go get ready.” How easy is that? The hard work in done when you do the shit that should come naturally, the gym, leading the family, providing for your family, doing your thing in the form of hobbies or interests. That’s the things a woman wants in her man. When you get those things right, the sex comes easy… If you chose wisely…