Today was the day. It was either shit or get off the pot. In the words of Tom Cruise in Risky Business “Sometimes you just have to say, What The Fuck!” That’s what I did… I let it go. To be honest, I’m not sure if that girl who called me knows what she was talking about with my certification. I will have to research it because I’ve heard differing opinions. Either way, after much deliberation, I’ve decided I am willing to accept it if that’s the end of my days of being a lawman. I believe hanging on to that rope tethering me to my past has been holding me back. I was unable to “Burn my ship” and move on. I kept thinking to myself I was on some kind of extended vacation and would return some day. I could never truly move forward as long as I was thinking that way. Now, I am forced to face the reality of that part of my life being truly over.
I suppose it is difficult for some people to understand, but for those of you who have served in the military for an extended period of time can likely relate. You have seen and done things that nobody in the “normal” world has or can imagine. You always think of yourself as different from normal people. Not better, just a little more aware of the realities of the world we live in, and most in this country never have to see. They never see it because of our military and law enforcement, particularly our local law enforcement. This is the essence of “The Thin Blue Line” the police are the only barrier protecting the good an deterring the evil. People in this country have no idea just how thin that line is… Let’s hope they do not have to find out.
No matter, I have let go and now will move on. I don’t know exactly where I will go from here, but I feel a sense of relief having finally stepped completely out of the boat, and placed both feet on the shore.