I know very few things about James Earl Jones. I know he was the “This Is CNN” voice, I know he was Darth Vadar’s voice (in the original movies at least, I haven’t seen any since the first three, don’t even know what they are about), and I know he was the old man who owned the dog Hercules in the movie “The Sandlot”. I know nothing of his politics or beliefs so don’t send me hate mail if he is a flaming liberal or something.
What I do know is he is credited with this quote:
“One of the hardest things in life is having words you can’t utter.” – James Earl Jones
Coming To America…
Now if you are a younger man in your 20’s, or maybe even your 30’s, you may think this is feel good bullshit. The common theme around manosphere is the STFU (Shut The Fuck Up) rule when it comes to those around you. Some, who lack life experience, may think this means not telling those close to you how you feel about them. STFU is all well and good if you believe you have all the time in the world. However, as you get older, you realize that belief is a fantasy. You are not immortal, life is short. That person closest to you may seem vibrant, healthy, and full of life. Life is funny though. Life has a way of letting us know we are not in charge. Traffic crashes, heart attacks in seemingly healthy people, weird viruses, violence, disease have all claimed the lives of those around me. As I’ve gotten older it seems with more regularity.
STFU has it’s merits, but withholding how you feel about someone close to you, or even not so close, is not always a wise strategy. When the reaper comes for them, or you, do you really want to regret the opportunities you’ve had to say what you wanted to say to your wife? But, you didn’t, because some guy online, you’ve never met, told you if you did your wife would be disgusted by your weakness, refuse to give you blow jobs and eventually fuck all your friends because she thinks you are a pussy.
The truth is you can’t be a beta chump either. I get where the manosphere is coming from. The theory does have merit. You can’t profess your never ending love constantly. A better strategy is showing her you love her through action, being the man she wants and needs to take care of her, lead her and the family, but not forgetting to tell her at strategic points what she means to you. Letting this out will be beneficial for both you and her.
I have talked several times about living life genuinely and living without regrets. We, as men, all have things we want and desire to experience in life, and in the bedroom. Responsibilities both financial and familial, can often be road blocks to achieving those experiences. Despite all those Tumblr posts you see on your dashboard claiming most women are bi-sexual and are craving a threesome, most wives are not going to go for that. Yeah, those pictures of Iceland are cool, but your kids need to eat. Living without regrets doesn’t mean we have to live out all of our dreams and fantasies. In fact, it’s likely best some of them remain fantasies because the reality would be too damn complicated.
Some guys have all the luck huh?…not… Probably better in theory than practice, at least for the married man… Damn you single guys!
If you love your wife, your dad, your kids, hell…even a good friend, tell them how you feel. Don’t be a little bitch about it, but let them know they mean something to you. You never know when the bastard in the black hood is coming for them (or you) and he doesn’t give a fuck if you still have things left to do or say.